Big community funding update! Help me give my first blowjob. November 18, 8: Give me some tips on how to try it out without embarrassing myself too badly.
There's no particular reason why I've never done this before, except that my one long term relationship was with the rare sort of guy who just didn't care for them at all. Besides that my sexual experience is largely limited to a smattering of random hookups, which never felt like the right moment for "hey, want to enjoy my first-ever shitty blowjob?
I'm sleeping with a new guy now and I think he's great and I'd like to get over this hurdle with him.
I've tried watching pornos for this but they all just seem so I suppose I'd have to talk this through with my guy first and I'm honestly really embarrassed about being pushing 30 with no oral experience when it seems like most girls nowadays are experts at half my age.
I am otherwise enthusiastic about sex and I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy giving BJs once I got used to doing them. I mostly don't want to be terrible and don't want to hurt him. I also have an exceptionally small mouth according to my dentist, which isn't particularly reassuring. Also have a pretty bad gag reflex so I think deep throating will be out of the question. When I was in your place, I googled around and found detailed instructions on a site aimed at gay men, which was very helpful.
I'm at "How to give good head for the first time," though, so I'm not about to go looking for it again right now Honey, do not over analyze this. Just grab it and go for it! I had the same issue but it went a long way to getting over it for me to realize that just having my mouth there was great for a guy. Just don't, like, bite, and you'll be good.
Do what feels ok. Use your hand on the bottom if you are worried about choking. You can ask the gentleman in question for a lot of detailed guidance based on it being the first time you're giving this partner a blow job, without tipping your hand about the full extent of your inexperience. Male preferences about technique are about as varied as men in general so there's no danger of giving yourself away by not knowing "the obvious.
Finally, a question in one of my areas of expertise! Especially if you are nervous, start with a lot of licking, particularly around the base.
From there, start giving little licks up the shaft until you reach the head and then do a nice, long lick from the very base all the way up the shaft to the head. Do a lot of licking before you ever take it your mouth; this will acclimate you and also is, I am told, very enjoyable.
You will also probably get a lot of positive feedback in the form of moans and sighs. If you want, you can take just the head into your mouth for a moment. You can do this a couple of times if it is well-received.
After your licking phase think of this as basically blowjob foreplayyou are probably ready to take it into your mouth. If you'd prefer, start with just the tip and suck on that not too hard!
There is sometimes a spot under there that is especially enjoyable but don't freak out about finding that. Lick a little circle around the rim How to give good head for the first time the head assuming circumcision maybe a couple of times.
This is the part where I would recommend taking the penis into your mouth as far as you feel comfortable. Don't do anything with which you're not comfortable! Don't make yourself choke! Just take it as far in as you feel like and kind of suck on it like a vacuum cleaner while you back off with your head. Do this a couple of times if it seems to be working.
The main How to give good head for the first time that surprised me when I first started giving blowjobs is how much the hands are involved as well.
After you first get as much of the head and shaft into your mouth as you feel like doing, kind of suck on the head while you rub the shaft with your hand. It should be nice and lubricated from your spit at this point and I recommend using the tips of your fingers on the underneath part of the penis because that's where it's particularly sensitive. Keep doing this, starting out slowly and getting faster, for as long as it takes.
Drink lots of water and be sure you have plenty of spit available for lubrication and your comfort. Listen to moans and be aware of when the penis twitches or whatever. These are good signs. To be honest I've never spit so I'm not sure how that works but have a plan and don't be surprised if it tastes kind of weird. Eventually maybe you can get there gently but don't start out that way. If you're with someone who's not an asshole, he will be appreciative and understanding.
You can get good at it with practice and I doubt anyone will mind being your partner in this. You can do it! I have a small mouth and have never received any complaints.
If the guy is a decent person, it'll be fine. If the guy is an asshat, well, pick another guy? But treat it as a low-pressure thing. You're a real, live, warm person and this is something nice and fun that you want to do to make him feel good.
Also, blowjobs are fun for the giver, at least in my world. Most guys aren't going to be unkind about it. Not a lot of complaining, there, and some of the blowjobs, to put it humorously, sucked. Some things I have found useful You're not on the clock, probably there are other activities planned for after, so don't be all "My god, I've been down here two whole minutes and he hasn't come yet! Slobbery is mostly better. Slobbery on him, slobbery on your lips. This is not a neat activity and if your lips are dry, they drag more.
Wet and slippery is really what you want, here. The drool running down the shaft? Makes your hand slide better. Many guys seem to feel the underside of the head of the penis is very sensitive, like, where the circumcision scar is a vertical line, kinda.
If that makes sense. Use your tongue here and anywhere else interesting. Uncircumcised guys have foreskin, that you can run your tongue under and play with -- it's a different kind of interesting.
Also, the head of the penis is more sensitive on the uncut guys I've been with. Guys are mostly visual dudes and they kinda like looking at you with your mouth on their penis. So, y'know, look up at the dude and let him see you looking at him. Most guys do not seem to feel the wet slurpy noises are gross. Similar for the gaggy noises. It's all good, apparently, so don't worry that much about having it be quiet. If he isn't being very forthcoming, do something and then ask if he likes it or not.
Sometimes "yes" or "no" is easier for
How to give good head for the first time guy to say than "take your balls in my mouth and roll them around with your tongue".
This is sort of assertive, but if he's not volunteering feedback, it's one way to get good information out of him. It is possible, by way of practice and acclimatization, to teach yourself to relax the throat and slide something all the way down it. According to my fella "your throat is a lot tighter than your mouth".
I find it impossible to breathe with a penis that far down my throat and I really, really like breathing. Also, since breaths take me longer than one blowjob-thrust-equivalent, I have not yet found a decent way to manage any sort How to give good head for the first time ongoing deepthroat-fucking without suffocation resulting.
I'm working on it but I may just be stuck with crappy white-girl rhythm skills. It is entirely possible to have an enjoyable blowjob experience without the abililty to deepthroat. Should you be interested in learning how, though, I'd suggest a moderately-sized pretend penis silicone is nice, appropriately flexible and some quality time practicing your moves. Once you've got that working, you can move up to a flesh model and practice on him.
I do not speak for all men, here I am not a man but basically, if the dude you are having sex with is presented with "Hey, I'd like to get better at blowjobs, can you kind of lie still and let me practice on you so that I can get better?
Get off me, you disgusting pervert! I hope it goes well for you. Can I practice on you? I'd be surprised if the answer was No. Ask for feedback, but keep in mind that you don't ever have to do anything that feels bad to you. My husband says the sexiest thing a person can do while giving a beej is to enjoy it themselves. If the person giving him a bj is clearly enjoying giving it, that is the absolute sexiest thing ever and makes the beej a hundred times better.
Looking up at the guy, while you do it and smiling while he is still, uh, in you, seems to be a good move. While I agree with comments about hand use, above, I'd also say that if you're nervous, you can involve one hand in the stimulating-the-penis side of things, and keep the other hand wrapped firmly around the base of the penis, covering the lower, say, half of it.
This means that even if he gets overenthusiastic and thrusts up into your mouth, you won't end up with a dick down your throat, you'll end up with your lips mashed against the hand holding the penis, which is, imo, the better option. Pull his pants down slowly and act as naughty as possible - this is a great turn on. 2. Grab his hand and lick on his fingers slowly before you give him head - just.
There's this whole cottage industry around teaching women to How to give good head for the first time ~better blowjobs~ and honestly most sex just isn't that complicated. The first time I ever gave head, my then-boyfriend came in my mouth before I had time to say, "are you almost finished here." I was 16, and after.