This guest article from "Signs of sex and love addiction" was written by Dr. You might be a sucker for the mysterious, silent, withholding type or the demanding, controlling type or the impulse-driven, pleasure seeker. I was
Signs of sex and love addiction to write this article after reading about the highly publicized romance between superstars Chris Brown and Rihanna. If I were to counsel these young lovers, I would start by asking them to look honestly at the value and purpose of relationships in their lives: What need or value does this relationship serve for you?
Are you in it because of the amazing chemistry? Are you in this relationship to avoid being alone? Or would you like a relationship that inspires you to be the best person you can be … or one where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable so you can heal and grow?
Many of us, when seeking a meaningful relationship, forget to ask these basic questions. Well, if this is your belief, I have bad news — not everyone who feels like your soulmate is right for you.
Maybe they lack the basic communication skills needed to negotiate differing needs and expectations. If you are with someone who gets so threatened by the fact you sometimes want one thing while he wants a different thing — so threatened he will harass you or even threaten you until you agree, this relationship is not going to be good for you.
Take the following Love Addict Quiz.
It will help you start paying more attention to any tendency you might have for getting into unhealthy Signs of sex and love addiction. If you answered yes to more than two of these questions, I suggest you take a serious look at yourself and your current relationship.
If you need emotional intensity, for example, I ask you to look at what you might be avoiding with this pattern: Are you avoiding feeling ordinary? Do you have a need to feel special as a compensation for deeper feelings of insecurity?
Can you locate the source of your insecurity? What do you fear, specifically? Do you fear being alone, being rejectedbeing insignificant? If you can feel even a bit of this fear here and now, do any memories come up — possibly of a time someone important to you rejected you?
If you can actually feel a bit of this fear intentionally and with compassionate awareness, this is a first step to healing this fear.
Learning to feel painful feelings with compassion toward yourself allows you to dip into these feelings while you are in control — as opposed to needing these feelings to get triggered unconsciously by a lover. If you tend to feel empty or lost without your lover or if you are obsessed with worries about the relationship, you probably have a deep-seated fear of abandonment or of being alone.
Most dysfunctional relationship patterns arise out of the need to stay unconscious about our normal fears and about the normal emotional discomfort we feel when differences arise. You can have it all in love: You do not have to choose between being passionately in love and being a cooperative team.
Heart and key photo available from Shutterstock. From dating to marriage, parenting to empty-nest, relationship
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Find help or get online counseling now. Retrieved on November 8,from https: Hot Topics Today 1. When You're Not Narcissistic Enough: Do you often fall for people who are emotionally unavailable? An expert explains how to spot the signs of love addiction. Though most of us know it from tabloids, love and sex addiction is a very real affliction that affects a lot of people. But what is it, really?. You could be a love or relationship addict without even knowing it because your You can have it all in love: both hot "Signs of sex and love addiction" and healthy love.
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