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Married but not in love


OMG is one of the current expressions that prevails our culture; I hear it in airports, in the grocery store, and see it posted all over social media. In fact, I use Married but not in love myself in texts and emails with friends.

What does it mean? The house is on fire? I just saw a photo of my first boyfriend 30 years later? I heard something on the news, which took my breath away, or there is a beautiful new flower on the rosebush?

There is an expression among couples, often the opening sentence on the phone calls to make an appointment for the start of a therapy session about relationships. In the 35 years in which I have been a relationship counselor and life coach and among the thousands of couples Married but not in love have seen, at least 25 percent begin with this statement.

Although this is expressing a real feeling, it can mean many things. It usually takes the client or couple several sessions for them to discover where it falls on the continuum. Is it a part of the normal cycles of love, or is it signaling the end of the relationship?

My concern is that we interpret this feeling, which is also about the absence of another kind of feeling, as a sign the relationship is not going to last. Think about what you do for a living. Are you a professional, a student, an artist of some sort? Can you remember when you had the thought that brought you to this place? Three months later, when you're knee-deep in desk work, administration complications, or having to manage an impossible co-worker, what do you feel then?

Does it mean you put in your resignation immediately? Probably not—and it's no Married but not in love in our relationships. Some days are cloudy, some are stormy, some are gray, and sometimes the sun shines.

Here are some of the many other things it can mean:. Ending a relationship won't ever be nice or easy. All couples have many irresolvable issues, and the difference between the thrivers and divers is not whether they have differences between them but how they are managed. This happens because we learn the skills to handle it, and the good news is that anyone can learn skills. Our sexual relationships are like the other parts of our connection—we need to find new ways to keep things alive.

In the same way a runner can feel wiped out and then push through the wall to find a second wind and a better high than ever, this often happens in our lovemaking when we get a little creative. So, what do you do about it? A long-term relationship has Married but not in love seasons: Want more insight into your relationships?

The Ten Word Sentence Most...

Find out the two types of passion and which one is good for your sex lifethen learn what the number of sexual partners you've had actually says about you.

And in order to be your best self in your relationships—whether it's with a friend, family member, or partner—you need to FEEL your best, inside and out. Ready to learn more about how to become your most vibrant self? Group 8 Created with Sketch.

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There is nothing more disheartening...

Group 10 Created with Sketch. Group 11 Created with Sketch. Group 4 Created with Sketch. Here are some of the many other things it can mean: I want out of the relationship and am clear it's done, and I want to be nice about it. I don't want to hurt my partner's feelings, and this is easier to say than "It's over. I've met someone else with whom I feel alive, like I used to with my current partner.

I'm noticing we're arguing a lot and instead of feeling like you're my person, I'm Married but not in love off to you emotionally. Sex has become dull, boring, or predictable. The person feeling this is depressed and, since the Technicolor has gone out of many things they once enjoyed, this has happened in the relationship as well.

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Sex can be rekindled, intimacy can be rediscovered, and depression can be treated. She is also the author of the highly Emma Loewe a day ago. Wellness Trends wellness trends.

Liz Moody a day ago. Email Address Sign up Error message. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! Popular experts Frank Lipman, M.

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Popular categories Health Food Beauty. There is nothing more disheartening to a couple or a couples' therapist than to hear one partner proclaim to love, but not be in love with, the other. Sounds like. What to do when you are married but in love with another person.

type of affairs that are wholly about sex and not at all about relationship – usually find root in. The Ten Word Sentence Most Likely to End Your Marriage. Posted Oct 20 So they say, “I love you, but I'm not in love with you” not knowing where it will lead.

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