It can be frustrating and often you'll feel bad afterwards for having been so out of control with your anger. But, you don't know why you do it or how to control it. So, where to start? A great place to start when trying to gain control over your temper is figuring out the real feeling behind the emotion.
So, the next time you get angry with someone, take a step back and ask yourself, "Why am I so angry?
If you answer something like, "I'm so angry because my friend didn't do what I asked him" you're not digging deep enough. The other person is just a trigger for your emotion. They do something and you feel an emotion in response anger. That's what you need to figure out. It's your reaction that's important, not what the other person actually did.
A situation just "is" until you give it meaning. Something happens and you make the decision whether you're conscious of the decision or not as to whether it's "good", "bad" or "neutral". And, that decision is often based on an emotional response. So, you just need to figure out why you're choosing the anger as your response. The reason why you choose anger can be for quite a few different reasons but this is what you need to figure out.
You need to know where your anger is really coming from. Anger is used as a sort of mask. It covers up the true feelings like fear, jealousy, frustration, or annoyance. It's a way of dealing with the situation
Why am i so short tempered lately you haven't processed the real feelings behind it. There's always something behind anger. Anger doesn't come by itself.
It's always attached to another emotion. In that sense, anger could be thought of as an intermediate emotion. An event happens, the brain doesn't have time or doesn't want to to fully process the situation and it needs a reaction, so anger is what's used until there's more time to examine everything in more detail.
To help you figure out what your true emotions might be behind why you're feeling so angry, here are 12 different reasons and emotions that could be happening: Anger is often caused by fear.
Something happens and it scares you in some way. You fear losing control, looking foolish, being in trouble, or maybe even getting hurt. Your anger is in response to being afraid of something. It's that whole fight or flight concept happening. Anger is the fighting back at what scares you. So, ask yourself if you're really feeling afraid and what is it that scares you the most?
There's a great quote which says, "Anger is a chosen response to the feeling of powerlessness. Anger is how we attempt to reassert control over situations that baffle us. Something to watch out for this one is that you could be feeling powerless in one situation and it will cause you to react with anger at anyone who upsets you. For example, say you have a health issue and you're feeling frustrated because you can't get in to see the specialist.
So, you Why am i so short tempered lately powerless in this situation, probably also a little scared and frustrated. That's the feeling percolating in the back of your mind and you need a way to release that so as soon as someone or something Why am i so short tempered lately you, all your pent up feelings are vented on that person.
They may have absolutely nothing to do with why you're feeling powerless. They're simply a handy way to release all those negative feelings you've bottled up. So, if you find yourself over-reacting to situations, check and see if you're feeling powerless in a different situation. Again, you're figuring out where your real anger is coming from. If you're feeling frustrated with something in your life, you might respond with anger.
You're just so frustrated with something that you're annoyed and angry. For example when you're learning something new like a software program. You just want the program to work and it's so frustrating because you don't know how to Why am i so short tempered lately the software to do that.
So, you're feeling impatient and you respond by getting angry at the computer or the program. Or if you're stuck in a traffic jam and you're frustrated because there's nothing you can do. This one can also be caused by fear though. You fear that you're going to be late due to the traffic jam and your imagination starts going wild with all the bad things that are now going to happen eg.
But, the anger starts with feeling frustrated or powerless with the situation. You don't know what to do. To deal with this one, it can help if you take a step back and just look at the big picture again. What do I want to achieve in this situation? How can I do that? Often anger is associated with pain from the past. A traumatic experience happened in the past that the person has never really dealt with.
Abuse as a child for example or feeling abandoned as a child. In this case, often the anger isn't even associated with the current event the person is experiencing. The person is just so angry at the entire world due to something that happened a long time ago. They hit out at everyone they come into contact with due to the constant pain they have deep inside. Or they feel so hurt that they don't want to let anyone come close to them.
They use the anger as a way of protecting themselves from further hurt. Or a situation happens and it reminds them of that event that happened a long time ago and they automatically react with anger. Another reason could be because you're dealing with grief. Grief is an overwhelming, heartbreaking emotion and it's one of the hardest human emotions Why am i so short tempered lately deal with. So, it's normal to react with anger sometimes when you're coping with grief.
Grief isn't always about losing someone you love. You can also feel grief when you lose what was or what could have been. For example, when an athlete experiences a career ending injury, they'll grieve for the life they expected to have. Or when a woman learns she's unable to get pregnant, she'll grieve for the loss of being able to be a mother.
You can even experience Why am i so short tempered lately when you move to another country or culture or Why am i so short tempered lately across town.
It's mourning the loss of the life you once knew. It can also occur when any relationship ends. Or you may grieve that a relationship or situation isn't working out the way you imagined it would. You may even grieve the ending of a routine or ritual you had. You may be grieving for the life you once had or the life you hoped to have.
Grief is a very personal thing and it's important to acknowledge your feelings. Grief is simply "Why am i so short tempered lately" the loss of something that was important to you. Taylor Joy Murray has an article explaining the grief she went through when moving to another country on her site and the 5 steps she used to walk through her grief.
She also has a good article on 7 ways people deal with this type of grief stuffers, deniers, etc. The next time you find yourself getting overly angry with something minor, ask yourself, "What does this situation remind me of? Sometimes anger comes because it's easier to blame others for problems rather than taking responsibility for your own life or you don't want to come up with a solution yourself.
It can feel like the quickest way to solve a problem. You get used to reacting with anger whenever something doesn't go your way and it's become a very bad habit. It's a bad habit which will be making your life much harder than it needs to be as you'll alienate your family and friends and could also cause you to lose promotions or even your job.
Being angry all the time is a terribly draining way to live as well. If it's a habit for you, it's definitely worth taking the time to change it. If you're overly exhausted all the time, you might be just too tired to mentally deal with situations that happen.
You don't have the strength to have patience with the situation. This is one you often find with new parents but it can happen to anyone if they're overly tired or stressed out. Or you might just have too many things happening at once and it causes overwhelm for you. You're at the limit of what you can handle at the moment. It can feel scary and you might react with anger at the next event that pushes you over your threshold of what you can cope with.
You feel jealous about what someone else has or has done. It might remind you that you want that as well or it reminds you that you're not following your own dreams. You end up getting angry at the person for having something you want when really you need to turn it around and start thinking "That's something I'd like to have in my life too.
How do I start to work towards getting that for myself? If someone is looking for validation or approval from others, they might go to incredible lengths to please the other person and when the other person doesn't react the way they want Why am i so short tempered lately to, they feel hurt but they respond with anger as a way to deal with those feelings.
You're irritable, short-tempered and grouchy. of overwhelm because they have to work so hard to manage their own internal emotional state. roller coaster. Find out more about bad moods and why you have them. Feeling irritable or short-tempered can be signs of depression. So can feelings of.
Long-term, unresolved anger is linked to health conditions such as high blood pressure, depression, anxiety and heart disease. How you react to feeling angry depends on lots of things, including: In fact, anger is an emotion that we feel while aggression is how some of us behave.
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