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Today's Gangbang challenge of the day: How much money would I have to pay Raza Syed to get him Senior citizen gangbang go and see this film? It might be worth it, if we all pool our funds. I can't believe Sean Penn is on Friends. And after he pissed on Nic Cage for doing popcorn flicks, no less.

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My "Senior citizen gangbang" was pretty lo-fi. I worked the front door of our house with my sister for a while, passing out Kit-Kats and Skittles to the kiddies and the occassional teenager from my neighborhood. Then I went out egging for two hours, per usual.

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Later that evening, I ended up at Sam Diego's with friends, where we found ourselves drinking Red Bull and Vodka in street clothes amidst a flashy costume dance party. The best costumes there had to belong to the group of Muppets: Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker. The Beaker costume was non-stop hilarious. The guy's face hid behind the large flap that is Beaker's mouth.

At one point I found him tangled up in Senior citizen gangbang cotton spider-webbing, exclaiming "meep meep meep" over and over in frustration. Beaker won a snowboard for his costume.

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That was the highlight of my Halloween. My favorite personal costume of all time has to be third or fourth grade when I dressed up as a piece of cheese.

I took a large cardboard box, covered it in yellow tack paper, and Sharpied on some large holes, Swiss-style.

I wore a yellow rain hat to match. My brother dressed up in a fancy mouse costume my mother made, and at each house he would pretend to gnaw on me. The costume was great, but the box came down below my knees; everything was fine until I fell down in front of Tim Urdi's house and couldn't get up without help. I spilled some of my candy, too. Improvising on short notice as I spent the first half of the week in exam-induced limbomy roomie and I ended up Senior citizen gangbang as Kris Kross.

I was the illustrious Kross. It went pretty well, considering that we looked nothing like them, except of course for the backwards clothing and large Senior citizen gangbang. Today's Gangbang challenge of the day: How much money would I have to a) very clearly a senior citizen b) my astronomy professor with his six-month-old.

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