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Think you got what it takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content. Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb. If you're already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. Before Craigslist, millions of sex-starved people "Craigslist milf fuck" over the globe aimlessly wandered the Earth, mashing Craigslist milf fuck genitals onto bales of hay or phonographs or whatever antiques they found lying around.

And after the advent of Craigslist, these lost souls finally found their outlet -- a website that allows total strangers to ask other total strangers to massage their prostates with rhubarb stalks.

For those readers living in Washington, D. There was a catch, though. Namely, you'd have to be butt-naked the entire time:. Craigslist Forget it, pants; it's Chinatown. So how legal is this situation? Dodgy as shitbecause when "touching" turns into "daily breakfast goosing," you're skipping into prostitution territory. And even if the nudity stayed innocent, your roommate would probably strut around with an erection all the time, which would be horrible at first but then just a minor household aggravation, like a loose piece of wainscoting.

This past November, a year-old "creative industry professional" in New York City got sick of seeing her male peers hire pencil-skirted ingenues as secretaries. So, she decided to end sexism forever with the following Craigslist job listing:. Except for the monotheism clause and a later stipulation that her assistant wear beanies, it's a pretty boilerplate Craigslist job listing. We're assuming these photos are necessary to prove that you can still use an inkwell in case all your fingers and toes get severed in an industrial accident, right?

Several years agohe had discovered an innate ability to tell a woman's fortune. But unlike traditional palm readers, he must fondle the future out of you. Craigslist "Hmmm, I can sense a great feeling of regret in your near-present. Also, Craigslist milf fuck suspect that he might have cribbed his clairvoyance from repeated viewings of Mean Girls. Last semester, 10 roommates at the University of Vermont decided that majoring in maple syrup or whatever was leaving precious little time for household chores, so they tapped into their deepest Oedipal desires and sounded the call for a "House MILF" on Craigslist.

It's unknown if these brilliant scholars ever received any applicants who agreed to be paid in coupons for bro penis, but Craigslist milf fuck ad prompted a fruitless investigation by university police. Innon-bestselling author Chad Leslie Peters self-published the non-bestselling book The Affair: A Four Week Experiment in Lovewhich, much like 99 percent of self-published literature, is erotica.

Chad Leslie Peters " Self -published? But the cover is Craigslist milf fuck professional.

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On the heels of this novel, Peters decided to take literature to the next level with a non-fiction version of The Affair. But first, he had to Craigslist milf fuck to Craigslist -- the place where all sensible citizens go when they get ideas -- and hold a recruitment drive for nubile English Craigslist milf fuck. The difference between the first book and this one will be verite: So far, the non-fiction remake of The Affair has yet to pop up on his Amazon sales page, so it's safe to assume that Chad was so overwhelmed with responses that he's spending every waking hour boning instead of writing.

The third part of XJ's epic science-fiction novel is out now on Amazon. Or leave a review and get a free copy! Poke him on Twitter and follow him on Facebook.

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