I have meditated on and off and read some Buddhist texts but I How to cope with infatuation not an experienced practitioner of either meditation or Buddhism. One of my employees of 3. I never had any romantic or sexual feelings for her. She is quite attractive and we have always enjoyed working and spending time outside work together, yet that stuff never entered my mind. Instead, we have both felt respect, affection, trust and admiration for each other. We have had many intimate conversations and know each other very well.
I know she has confided in me more than in anyone else in her life, except perhaps her own mother. Three weeks ago, she very abruptly removed herself from our work relationship citing romantic feelings for me.
This created great distress for me and for herself. In my mental confusion, I allowed anger and disappointment take over and I sent her a cold note. Her response broke my heart. She was hurt, the last thing I wanted. I felt more rotten and miserable than I had in many years. I visited her a few days later at her home. I then told her in no uncertain terms how much I loved her, how deeply sorry I am for the email I sent, that it was all a lie, and how I wished we could somehow preserve the relationship.
It became tearful How to cope with infatuation both sides, and, on my initiation, physical. We hugged, first standing up, and then kept holding and stroking each other "How to cope with infatuation" down on her sofa. Nothing sexual by the way, and kisses only to the forehead.
She loved the idea and was ready to take a blood oath right then and there. I suggested we wait with this until our heads are clearer and we know what we want out of that commitment etc. We parted, both on an emotional high. Unfortunately, the same evening I had to admit to myself that I was now also feeling a growing infatuation with her. I got the butterflies like a teenager!
She also knows Liz reasonably well, and the two also like each other. Liz looks up to my wife like to an elder sister, I suppose. I assured my wife that whatever is happening with Liz is not a threat to our marriage and that I have no intention of pursuing a romantic affair with Liz.
My wife trusts me, and she can see that I am being sincere. I made sure my wife heard that, too, of course. Yesterday, Liz How to cope with infatuation to our house for dinner. She had a long talk alone with my wife, while I was walking the dogs and cooking. We spent a very pleasant evening and Liz went home. Well, it was more like a butterfly breeding session, at least for me. There were a couple of moments where we looked at each other for perhaps a little too long and I think that alone did it.
So there it is. I love that girl in a non-romantic, non-sexual way more than almost anyone else in my life, and now I also have a crush on her.
I admire your honesty, and commend the strong intimacy you have with your wife. To be able to have the courage to open up about that to her, bravo! It sounds like a case of transference and counter-transference to me.
You two had a closeness that erupted, and as you moved in to salvage the connection, became in meshed.
Consider, you shared a very tender moment of connection, kissing on the forehead, strong emotionally charged hugs. This can leave an impression, a high. Not in a resistance, such as trying to shut a door against wind, rather in clear seeing, such as wind blowing past a tree. Consider, our hearts are compatible with many people. Such as if circumstances were different, yeah, you might be able to dance with your friend in that way. But here and now, it would be harmful.
To you, your wife, and her, perhaps others. Its very normal to have feelings get all confused, turned around. Sweet moments between you, probably some light flirting, and a platonic love. A little spark can set that ablaze, such as her transference meeting your desire to care for her. Doing nothing is what puts it out. Just accepting what you know, letting the remain at home. This will help put it out on her side too.
Said differently, see the blip for the normal thing it is, and then do the right thing and set her free in your mind, intentions to go and find someone that is able to return that tenderness, because its not you.
We both know that. Finally, try to move your mind where you want your attention to remain. You have a duty to protect your home, keep the boundaries strong. I agree that the key is my intentions. I have been oscillating between a state where that acceptance prevails and a state where the desire has had the upper hand.
At times where I was nearly letting go, Liz could sense it and relaxed. At times when the butterflies were out in force, she became apprehensive. Although we now can only see each other once per week when she comes visit us for a weekend afternoon and dinner
How to cope with infatuation has already found a new job we are still in touch daily by email, Skype, phone. I wonder if completely breaking off all contact for a while would help me settle my intention firmly and release the butterflies.
Are you just a chatty person? Do you still communicate far more with your wife? Skype, email, texting every day? Might want to put the brakes on that.
Said differently, if you feel the need to share something, connect. Well, chatting with her has been a daily thing for more than three years. Sitting right next to each other at the office, going out for lunch etc. I miss it very much, and so does she. Of course I communicate much more with my wife as we live in the same house. Not by email or Skype though. Yes, I understand the distinction you are making.
Good to be able to talk about it How to cope with infatuation someone like you! I had this happen under different circumstances after my wife and I split up.
Even then, I distanced myself. Tha fact that you are asking about this shows you are not thinking clearly. Her age, that she quit due to her feelings, your position as boss, and what else.?
The issue is as Matt said, you are enmeshed. You need to do this. For you and your wife and for this young woman. Also for your business which can be put in jeopardy when your wheels come off at some point. For your other employees. For others who you can help unless your life collapses due to this situation.
After 6 months, take 12, then 24…. Actually it was not business as usual. You crossed boundaries as an employer with intimate conversations etc. Just my 2 cents. Hi Big Blue, thanks for your thoughts.
You are right about the not thinking clearly. Since I posted the original post, I have started to look for approaches to make the thinking clearer.
One approach is to analyze scenarios. There is How to cope with infatuation one scenario in which Liz and I indulge in our crush, and where the outcome might be positive. So this scenario needs to be discarded. All other scenarios are negative, anyway. So, I am thinking more clearly now than a couple of days ago. Which of course includes a my beloved wife. I try to guide my thoughts toward rekindling the love I feel for her and superimpose that on the infatuation with Liz.
This, too, does its bit toward reducing the infatuation. bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It's blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it's. How to Overcome an Infatuation.
When infatuation turns from euphoria to obsession, it's time to make some changes. Constantly thinking of.
Imagine you're sitting in class, waiting for lecture to start, when a beautiful person walks in and sits down beside you.
Constantly thinking of someone can take a toll on your life and cause an unhealthy mental situation. You can overcome this infatuation by getting back to reality, refocusing your thoughts, and getting help and support. Expert Reviewed Why choose wikiHow? When you see the green expert checkmark on a wikiHow article, you know that the article has received careful review by a qualified expert. If you are on a medical article, that means that an actual doctor, nurse or other medical professional from our medical review board reviewed and approved it.
Similarly, veterinarians review our pet articles, lawyers review our legal articles, and other experts review articles based on their specific areas of expertise. Analyze the person's faults. However, no one is perfect and everyone has flaws--even them. Make a list of their negative qualities to bring you back down to reality. Finding these flaws will likely take some time. Engage with the person outside of your regular circumstances or spend more time with them than usual.
Chances are, seeing them outside of your typical scenario will show you a different, and unflattering, side. Handpickedx
Would you go out with someone that rejected you?Imagine you're sitting in class, waiting for lecture to start, when a beautiful person walks in and sits down beside you. Infatuation, in short. Up to that point we had worked together extremely well and become a “unit”. I never had any romantic or sexual feelings for her. She is quite ..
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How to Handle Crushes
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Rohan believes that being capable to recognize infatuation when it occurs is a sign of maturity. It is not uncommon to have Infatuation and ardour compared. In most comparisons, infatuation is treated as a dangerous phenomenon, whereas love is shown to be healthy.
The intrinsic question that needs to be asked, however, oftentimes remains unanswered: In my humble opinion, and based on a lot of experience, at the jeopardize of sounding extremely undeveloped, I believe that infatuation is akin to driving a race car at over kilometres an hour along country roads.
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Myriad people recognize infatuation, in the main after the fact, as an intense, superficial, temporary attraction.
If you yearning for love, but upkeep getting infatuated over and over again, you capacity be addicted to falling in love, suggests FindingStone Counseling's website. With strict work and honesty you can stop the infatuation habit, learning how to recognize and build a healthy relationship. Some green people become infatuated or develop crushes easily as they are just scholarship how to manage their feelings. A new relationship is an exciting patience fueled, in part, not later than the effect of hormones, according to psychologist Deborah Khoshaba.
While love continues to evolve, infatuation gets stuck in that primeval phase and begins to deteriorate. Infatuation lacks trusteeship and commitment. Denial and obsession feed the relationship until reality starts to seep in.
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