Tuesday, Chivalry blog December Finding the One. One of the objectives of chivalry is to help you find one, not the one that you will divorce in 10 years but the real one, the last one, the greatest and Chivalry blog romance of your life. Your parents sent you to school for 12 years and then many people developed a skill after that, some studied in college or university, others learned a trade and others just jumped in.
In every case those that got to the top had a clear goal in mind, from the beginning they were clearly and concisely able to articulate what they wanted.
We all work really hard and plan and prepare for every aspect Chivalry blog our lives but when it comes a spouse we just sit there and wait for it to just happen.
Shock and horror half of all marriages in the west end in divorce. My mother had a list of stuff that she needed in a spouse, when she met a man she went to her list and started ticking boxes.
As the relationship naturally progressed was checking her list and marking things off as she found them out. If the person she was dating would not provide more than 2 of the things she was looking for she simply left Chivalry blog. In the case of my father he had everything she was looking for. After finding her Mr right she found out what his needs and wants where and provided them.
The harshness of the statement aside what she was trying to say, we were 16 at the time, was that you need just get there and over time learn what your perfect match looks like. Furthermore you also need to learn how to be the perfect partner for your perfect partner, relationships are a two way street "Chivalry blog" all.
Being the perfect person for your perfect person takes work and experience, you need to date people that are incrementally Chivalry blog to your perfect partner.
Learn from each relationship and adapt yourself with each encounter so that you are incrementally closer to to being the perfect partner for your perfect partner. Over the years I put together the advice of my mother, my high school friend, my observations of other long term couples and what I learned from chivalry.
Also write a quick note for each thing you're looking for stating why you want it. Writing it down will get it clear in your mind and the reasons why will keep things relevant. Understand that this list is never written in stone, life changes you and your list needs to change accordingly. You want to see how compatible each person you meet is to what you want. As you listen to somebody Chivalry blog find out information about them, refer to your list and start checking off the things they have that you want.
Ask them appropriate questions, be personable, let things happen naturally just keep your "Chivalry blog" in mind and check things as you find them out.
Keep in mind you have to get to know
Chivalry blog person over time so only ask questions about them that will give you the information that you want but are also appropriate.
Aside from avoiding the cheesy do you come here
Chivalry blog line what this question will tell me is if this is a hobby of theirs or they are trying something new. Next I need to find out how feels about trying new things. What this does do is build rapport by establishing a common interest and "Chivalry blog" her talking about the main activity. Right away I know she is capable of getting out of her comfort zone, we have that box checked.
Awesome, I know she likes trying new things, now I need to know what she likes, this question will help me do that. A few leading questions later and I can establish her limits. People love talking about themselves and this is something you can use. I strongly recommend doing some research on rapport building as it will help you get and keep people talking about themselves.
Chivalry blog more a person talks the more information you can get so keep them talking, for the record this is something I struggle with every day as "Chivalry blog" love to talk.
Remember how you rated everything out of 10 on a scale of importance? Well here is "Chivalry blog" it comes into play, you're simply adding up the proverbial points to see how well they match up with what you Chivalry blog. Being the perfect person for your perfect person takes work and you will need to change yourself to find the perfect person for you.
Let the relationship run its
Chivalry blog course and allow it to help you learn and grow. Keep in mind different traits are best with other traits, you need to develop the traits that best partner with the traits you want.
Take what you can from every relationship, everyone has something to teach you and they can only do so if you let them. They had a fundamental effect on your life, changed it forever and your list is probably quite different too. You have just entered the final stage and you need to be aware that your next relationship may well be the one.
The temptation at this point is to start actively looking for a spouse and that would be a mistake. Your list of traits has grown, got more specific and probably looks less like a checklist and more like a personality profile. Your last and greatest romance. Every person is unique sure but different cultures Chivalry blog different types of people, you are generalizing here so keep that in mind, everybody is different.
With that being said look at the various cultures and groups of people you have access to, look at their traits and find the one that best matches with what you want. This is really about odds, meeting people takes time, by finding the group that closest matches what you are looking for you increase your odds of finding the one. Thankfully these days meeting people is easy through online dating, meetup. Focusing on somebody to just agree to marriage is dangerous as this pattern of behavior is indicative of somebody really just wants to get married.
People who just want to get married will compromise themselves too much. Chivalry blog thesis on this post essentially boils down to writing down exactly what you want and using your relationships to confirm and edit that list. At the same time using your relationships to find out what the things you are looking for require so that you can develop those things within yourself.
Then by dating people that are incrementally closer to your perfect match and developing the parts of yourself that will make you a better match for your perfect match.
However know that there is a huge difference between growth and development and loosing who you are. As you move through life and towards your happy ever after always stay true to you you are. Posted by Aidan Fitzpatrick at Monday, 27 June Always Be Adding. Before I get started I feel this post should come with a warning, this
Chivalry blog probably going to be one of my more controversial posts. I ask that you read it all to the end, what I say in this Chivalry blog is, in Chivalry blog view, a simple fact of life and an observation that I have noticed.
However please I implore you, some relationships you must cling to permanently, your family members, your spouses and that close circle of friends that have always been there. These people are your rocks, they are your main support structures as you are theirs. For these people you hang on and you never let go no matter what, you probably already have some of these people in your life right now. Know who they are no matter what never let these people go.
The phrase refers to a sales tactic that states that a salesperson should always be on the lookout to close a sale. With very few exceptions, such a parent and child if you wish to have any kind of successful relationship with somebody be it romantic or platonic you need to be adding.
People tend to prefer spending their time in Chivalry blog company of those that add to them, if you can leave each person improved Chivalry blog some way, they "Chivalry blog" more likely to spend more time with you.
Figuring out where and how to improve lives is the subject of earlier posts but here what I want to talk about is the Chivalry blog of lasting relationship building. Think of relationships as being a lot like a business contract, 2 parties have something that is of benefit to the other so they share what they have and both get stronger.
The more you are able to add to somebody's life the more they will want you in it. However please understand that this goes both ways. Far too often I have been in a relationship both platonic and romantic and it has been one sided, either I am helping
Chivalry blog or they are helping me. Whilst one helping the other now to be helped later is fine being in a purely one sided situation is not. Ultimately any one sided relationship will end Chivalry blog one very simple reason, nobody likes a vampire.
When you meet somebody look to see how you can be of benefit to them but also see how they can be of benefit to you. Seeing how a person can be of benefit to you will help you deepen and cement your relationship as you can now both help each other.
Understand that adding and being added to goes far beyond just practical means and needs constantly change over time. I wanted a more stimulating job, more money, a place to live and more adventure in my life, maintaining a relationship with me was simple as I had a long list of needs. However now I have all these things and thus what is needed to add to my life has changed. If somebody wants to add to my life now they have to not only be able to not only come with me on my adventures in London but also be able to find them too.
No matter how close the person may be to
Chivalry blog, not all people that came with you can go with Chivalry blog. They can be wonderful people but if somebody is no longer able to add to you and will never be able to add to you, why are you with them? Often you will find that it is better to let them go Chivalry blog that they and you can find somebody more suitable. I know that this sounds harsh but we have a finite amount of room and time in our lives so fill it with people that can help you.
People tend to do this quite naturally, be they emotional or practical the moment one person stops adding the starts to drift, how fast depends on the strength of the relationship. Letting somebody drift from you can be hard but I believe it to be the better option because as mentioned earlier we only have space in our lives for a finite amount of people.
It is better for you to ensure that the people in your life actively add Chivalry blog it and to free those whom you cannot add to so that they can find somebody who can. On a final note I would leave you with a simple rule: Monday, 13 June True Love Waits. This makes a lot of sense to women for a number of relatively obvious reasons, not least of which is unwanted children.
However I would also like to present the argument that this period is good for men too. Seduction started out as something mainly used by women as a tool to get what they wanted. For as long as there has been a patriarchal society have needed to use seduction and sex to get what they want. Even today a woman's sexuality is one of her most powerful gifts, not her only one but one of her most powerful. Simply put waiting 30 days negates a lot of what many women are able to do.
One of the greatest seduction artists in history was Cleopatra, there is a famous account of her being unrolled on a carpet to greet Cesar. What Chivalry blog the point is that she was able to use her sexuality to get both men in a more agreeable and malleable state to further her own agenda. Even today women will
Chivalry blog use sexuality to get what they want out of men.
Whilst the right woman can be a massive and incalculable boon to the life of any man the wrong woman can just as quickly destroy him. The right woman understands the power of her gift of sexuality and will never abuse it with men to her own ends, waiting for 3 months helps ensure you only attract the right woman. By waiting for 3 months you automatically negate the ability of any woman to use her sexuality to manipulate you.
Anna's Blog: Chivalry Vs Feminism on Rachel Simmons | Can chivalry and feminism co-exist?. Blogs | Sep. In this old book, de Charny offers us a working model of chivalry, understood originally as the Chivalry blog of conduct for a Christian. Chivalry is so old fashion that it seems to appear only in black and Chivalry blog movies of the fifties and in fairy tales that our great grandmothers use.