This site uses cookies. By continuing, your consent is assumed. Learn more

130.4m shares

Things to know about hookup a depressed person

opinion

Yes, who knows what Hitler would have done with it if he had gotten it first? That would be Grindr, a hookup app for gay men seeking quick sex. The cynical profit motive that drove its release and, now, that of a small cadre of its competitors, disappeared like condom use in its immediate embrace a word it has made quaint by its downloaders and Things to know about hookup a depressed person success.

Anyone with—beyond sperm motility—grey cells, and ten minutes of history, saw the perils. Waiting in the wings was a generation of gay men who had, as sexual beings, become an endangered species now "liberated" into a brave new world in which HIV was a treatable infection. Grindr's techy misspelling notwithstanding, the app clearly billed itself as a fast track to grinding—grinding your meat having been around for more than a century as a metaphor for getting down, or off, sexually.

The history of predatory sociopaths luring gay men into private spaces to torture and as likely murder them long precedes the Internet. And whether the victim was gay or not was either the point or incidental to the barbarity. Last month, year-old Jeremiah Burroughs was charged with murdering as many as 70 of his co-workers at a meatpacking plant over 17 years of employment.

His victims all disappeared somewhere in the meat packing process. Only the most famous of these serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer—who ate some of his victims—was killed by a fellow prisoner in While reports of hookup-app-related murders of gay men never cease to horrify, seldom, either, do they wholly surprise. Statistically, there is no evidence that hate crimes, gay bashings, and murders have increased because of the apps.

There is greater evidence of far-right political administrations driving the acknolwedged increase. Digitally savvy haters have just changed platforms. To judge solely from the Internet articles Things to know about hookup a depressed person as of often as not by—gay men who use or have used hook-up apps, as great a concern is about app-related soul death—and actual suicide—the grinding down of vulnerable spirits.

Unfortunately, these messages are typically only skin-deep: Today in Boston, two men can walk down the street holding hands without consequence. Despite being a gay man raised on a tide of gay politics that found sexual freedom at or near the core of gay liberation, and someone living with depression, I was knocked back by the Harvard statistics. The screen full of half-naked men excites users. So when a neutral action clicking on Grindr is paired with a pleasurable response in the brain orgasmhumans learn to do that action over and over again.

You may find a hookup immediately, or you may be on your phone for hours before you find one…. Some experience overwhelming guilt following a sexual encounter in which no words are spoken.

One user told me that he feels so bad after a hookup that he jumps right back on the app, continuing the cycle until he is so tired he falls asleep. Every once in a while, he deletes the app, but he finds himself downloading it the next time he feels rejected or alone.

A Recipe for Loneliness. Mobile geolocation dating apps are relatively new Grindr was launched inbut unlike the desktop online experience of chat rooms and forums, the mobility of the mobile app means it can be used at the office, or on the toilet, or at dinner with your parents, or even at a gay bar.

Daily use of Grindr has increased 33 percent within the past three years alone. Miksche also references the work of John T. This increases the immature white blood cells being produced and released into the circulation.

This then secretes inflammatory cytokines proteins, resulting in depression and lethargy, which may, in turn, perpetuate loneliness. Epidemiological studies have found that socially isolated people have an increased risk of infections and heart disease and that those with poor social skills consume more alcohol, exercise less, and eat poorly. To the extent that hookup apps can become an addiction, breaking the addiction may begin in the time-honored experience of hitting bottom absolutely no pun intended with it.

Some of the people writing articles and posts in the readings section had that experience. Many have reported that it was as important not to vilify the apps themselves. It may, from time to time, have what I want, but never what I need. Which is something real. Apps such as Grindr are now eager to be seen as something other than a hazard as the users increasingly enjoin them to be.

We're finally learning what hookups...

But many observers see those efforts as modest so far, and they speculate that sexual-health information on the platforms may be as likely to enrage users as to engage them. Perhaps tellingly, the writers who have delved into the topic most deeply have proposed substitution behaviors as remedies.

When that happens, we are much more likely to easily encounter others who share our aspirations and inspirations, our backgrounds and values, and this can be a powerful way of re-establishing connection.

And there are medications whose efficacy remains a matter of conjecture. What seems clear from available writing is that acknowledging the addiction without vilifying Things to know about hookup a depressed person the agent or the addict is key, or at least an important beginning.

On caring for a partner...

Everyone, it seems, is pressing not just for more research, sometimes a deterrent to more urgent action, but for governmental support in funding treatment. Help may be on the way, but the help needs help. Too many deals Things to know about hookup a depressed person the day. Gay Hookup Apps and Depression—a Connection?

Written by Timothy Pfaff. That other death To judge solely from the Internet articles about—and as of often as not by—gay men who use or have used hook-up apps, as great a concern is about app-related soul death—and actual suicide—the grinding down of vulnerable spirits. Here are his creds: Turban echoes countless Internet gay writers and bloggers when he writes: Treating the addiction part Perhaps tellingly, the writers who have delved into the topic most deeply have proposed substitution behaviors as remedies.

Get tips and valuable updates to improve your health and life! Tell us what your interested in We only send you awesome updates of the requested themes. Type-2 Diabetes - A Survival Guide. Sign up for download be smart. Quick Resource: Do you suspect depression in a friend or family member?

A hook up is sometimes...

Second, it is valuable for friends or loved ones to learn the tell-tale signs So your loved one may gravitate only to those things that are easily for major depression in the standard manual for psychiatric conditions, the DSM-IV.

A hook up is sometimes more than a hook up, leaving people with emotions ranging from What do you know about On-Again/ Off-Again Relationship Stability?. Being depressed and having depression are very different. besides maybe getting away with rich-person Kickstarting his shitty indie movies?.

MORE: Things to know when dating an athletic girl

MORE: Craigslist dallas personals men seeking men

MORE: Tj Hart Nothing But Blowjobs Threesome

YOU ARE HERE: