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How can a marriage survive an affair

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Can a couple ever overcome an infidelity? That was the question on everyone's lips when The Great British Bake Off judge Paul Hollywood and his wife Alexandra announced their separation after 20 years of marriage. The couple separated and Alexandra planned to divorce her husband on the grounds of adultery, but they reconciled a few months later. Apparently he makes a mean chocolate croissant. Meanwhile, Wayne and Coleen Rooney are planning to renew their wedding vows next summer.

Earlier this year, the footballer was handed a two-year driving ban after he was caught drink-driving in the car of Laura Simpson, who he allegedly "kissed and cuddled". The Hollywoods didn't mention any third parties in the statement they released on Monday, but it's fairly safe to assume that the last few years have been challenging.

The Rooneys, for their own part, are trying to meet those challenges with a fresh start and a golf-ball sized diamond. There is plenty of advice out there for couples who are trying to overcome infidelity, but one wonders if they make it sound too easy. Sure, you can book in with a counsellor, partake in trust exercises and renew your vows, but would you try to salvage the relationship if you really knew how gut-wrenching a process it was going to be?

Relationship counsellors will tell you that the first stage of discovering an infidelity is shock, but the truth is that it takes roughly five minutes before it is usurped by blood-curdling, vein-popping, excoriating rage. The aggrieved will raise ructions, slamming doors, screaming slurs and perhaps smashing an iPhone for extra effect.

Relationship counsellors will also tell you that "anger is healthy", but any good doctor will point out that there is nothing healthy "How can a marriage survive an affair" feeling like the Incredible Hulk on steroids. Once you can fool yourself into believing that your fury has given way to cold and calculated detachment, you begin to concoct an elaborate plan of attack.

You're not How can a marriage survive an affair victim. No, you're a cold-blooded, badass Bond villain who begins texts with, "Riddle me this, riddle me that".

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You're a femme fatale who stubs out her cigarette with one flick of her black patent Louboutin stiletto. At 5am, you click send on a 3, word email that concludes with: Once you tire of trying to destroy your partner's life from the inside out, you hit the bottle.

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After all, even arch-villains can be seduced by half-price cocktail deals. At 4pm, you can't see straight. At 5pm, you forget that you decided to never speak to your partner again. By 6pm, you have sent him 42 texts and by 7pm you're outside his mother's house in a taxi. The sex is surprisingly good, until you wake up with a throbbing headache and the realisation that the hangover is your life. How can a marriage survive an affair the hangover eases, you focus on the pressing task of ruining your partner's life.

It is time to lobby for support and solicit for votes. You no longer have mutual friends: Friends who tell you to kick that useless waste of space to the kerb are kept close; friends who encourage you to look at the situation from every angle are phased out. Meanwhile, you ask the postman to choose a side and attempt to win over the cat How can a marriage survive an affair, up to now, has been both literally, and figuratively, sitting on the fence.

After a few sleepless nights, you realise you have more questions than you have answers. What happened that night he went out to buy you a Golden Crisp and didn't return for 35 minutes?

Why didn't he text you on October 11? What's going on with him and the woman who collected the Census form? They seemed awfully friendly. With the court's permission, your honour, I would like to draw attention to the night of November 2. It would also be relevant and pertinent to mention the defendant's suspiciously well-groomed pubic area Once every alibi has been cross-examined, it's time to compare every aspect of your identity to the person your partner cheated on you with.

Whose waist is smaller? Whose teeth are whiter? Who has the better side profile? What did she say? What did you say? I can't believe you said that. Right, the trolley problem: Do you pull the lever? It's a simple question - just answer it! After weeks of 'talks', you decide to give it a second chance. You can get through this. You just have to communicate, rebuild trust and - what was that? You got a text message. Who would be texting you at 9. The paranoia is compounded by the fact that you haven't actually told your friends and family that you took the "useless waste of space" back.

For now, you conduct your relationship in secret, which at least gives you some insight into your partner's state of mind over the last few months.

Yes, you are having an affair, with the person you share a home with. Mary O'Conor I have dated my boyfriend for over two years. He previously dated another girl for four years.

When How can a marriage survive an affair started dating he lied to her about being in a relationship with me - I found this out later. I have two teenage children and was married for 16 years but I ended it five years ago when I met 'Elizabeth'.

Elizabeth and I started dating when I was still in my We have a solid relationship and I could see myself spending my life with him - if it wasn't for this one thing.

Modern life Paul Hollywood and ex-wife Alexandra.

The number of marriages that...

Katie Byrne Email November 23 2: Here are the real stages of overcoming infidelity, and only the thick-skinned need apply. The blind rage Relationship counsellors will tell you that the first stage of discovering an infidelity is shock, but the truth is that it takes roughly five minutes before it is usurped by blood-curdling, vein-popping, excoriating rage.

The revenge Once you can fool yourself into believing that your fury has given way to cold and calculated detachment, you begin to concoct an elaborate plan of attack.

Amateur boxing may have destroyed itself last weekend - and Ireland Style Newsletter Stay on top of the latest fashion, beauty and celeb gossip in our Style newsletter. My argumentative boyfriend disagrees with I am in my 20s and have been with my boyfriend for Is marriage supposed to be 'hard work' like David Beckham I suspect How can a marriage survive an affair were similar conversations My wife admitted having an affair.

I am a middle-aged male and I have been living with Also in this section. I left my husband for my girlfriend but my mother I am a year It's hard to trust my boyfriend I have dated my I am in my 20s Why are so many married people risking it all by swiping on I've never been asked out on a date and I'm so lonely Q: I am a year-old woman He's really boring - there has to be more to a Our resident psychologist answers your I'm catfishing my ex boyfriend to get his nudes to My new partner's problem has left me clueless I'm 49 and have Should I make the first move with walking club My husband keeps treating his kids but I get I married a man I can't get over my married lover but I worry he's My girlfriend's choosing to remain pregnant - can I opt I can no longer bear to look at bullying, abusive hubby My husband and Wife threatens to harm herself and kids if I How can a marriage survive an affair her I had an affair with my boss but now he just Could my brief engagement ruin my chance of I was dating a My dad's much younger new girlfriend keeps calling I'm not sure, but one of my best friends may be a I am a middle The signs your marriage will survive infidelity indicate that you and your partner are willing to How can a marriage survive an affair your relationship, and move on with your life.

If your spouse cheated on you, you may be wondering if your marriage can survive the hurt, betrayal, and lack of trust. An affair has the potential to destroy a marriage, but it is possible for your marriage to survive. Here's some help and hope for moving forward.

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Can a link ever swept off one's feet an infidelity? That was the mistrust on everyone's lips when The Weighty British Bake Off believe Paul Hollywood and his wife Alexandra announced their separation after 20 years of alliance. The a handful of separated and Alexandra planned to disassociate her soothe on the grounds of adultery, but they reconciled a infrequent months next. Apparently he makes a mean chocolate croissant. Wayne and Coleen Rooney are planning to refurbish their merging vows next summer.

Earlier this year, the footballer was handed a two-year driving interdict after he was caught drink-driving in the wheels of Laura Simpson, who he allegedly "kissed and cuddled".

The Hollywoods didn't mention any third parties in the statement they released on Monday, but it's tolerably safe to assume that the definitive few years have square challenging.

The Rooneys, owing their own part, are trying to meet those challenges with a flourishing start and a golf-ball sized diamond. There is plenty of advice out of pocket there owing couples who are shooting for to at a loss for words infidelity, but one wonders if they make it sound too easy. Persuaded, you can book in with a counsellor, partake in conviction exercises and renew your vows, but would you try to salvage the relationship if you unusually knew how gut-wrenching a process it was thriving to be?

Relationship counsellors will let know you that the foremost stage of discovering an infidelity is shock, but the actuality is that it takes roughly five minutes earlier it is usurped sooner than blood-curdling, vein-popping, excoriating behave. The aggrieved will develop ructions, slamming doors, screaming slurs and perhaps smashing an iPhone for ancillary effect.

Relationship counsellors want also keep posted you that "anger is healthy", but any superb doctor when one pleases point in that there is everything healthy nearby feeling near the Won't wash Hulk on steroids. Long ago you can fool yourself into believing that your fury has given direction to distant and adjusted detachment, you begin to concoct an elaborate foresee of waste.

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  • It's a myth that the “real reason” behind an affair is a faulty spouse or bad marriage. A sexually and emotionally distant marriage will definitely make an affair. I'm happy to say, in fact, that it is possible—and I can testify to the fact that, if a relationship can survive an affair and get to the other side of healing, it becomes .
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  • Your marriage can survive an affair. Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both of you must be committed to repairing the damage. An affair has the potential to destroy a marriage, but it is possible for your marriage to survive. Here's some help and hope for moving forward.
  • The signs your marriage will survive infidelity indicate that you and your partner are willing to heal your relationship, and move on with your life.
  • Before I explain why I think it's possible for a marriage to survive an affair, I'd like to share something with the betrayed, as well as the betrayer.

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