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Rules for dating my daughter agent orange

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Users browsing this forum: This forum is for topics not related to aviation. It can be anything really, reflections on why you think Microsoft is a cool company to why you'll never buy a Nissan.

Rule Two: You do not...

This is the only forum where political comments are allowed. This is also the forum to organize Airliners. I thought I'd share it with you guys, as I'm sure many of you are fathers who might appreciate this.

Someday when I have kids as Ian would say: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not...

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. It is usually understood Rules for dating my daughter agent orange in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early.

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to Rules for dating my daughter agent orange on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness.

Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

Rules for you dating my...

Do not trifle with me. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.

The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Rule Two: You do not...

Militant Agnostic - I don't know and you don't either. Thu Sep 11, Sun Nov 14, 9: Shoot, I still get the evil eye from here dad once in a while, and we've been married almost 11 years.

I've got a 5-year old daughter and a 3-year old daughter.

Rule Two: You do not...

I'll be saving this for the next 15 years at least, it'd better be at least 15 years before they even think about datingand giving copies to any potential suitors of my daughters!!!

Thu Nov 11, But Nine gets me too! I had a girls father hand me this list one very similar when he first met me. It was pretty damn funny. I had another girl's mother tell her to watch out for me, as "he's been around the block a few times. He told me Rules for dating my daughter agent orange went to Camp Perry every other year, and was on the local marksmanship team. He was little chagrined when I brought my own national match M1A and did better than him with a long gun at the meter TVA range.

I couldn't shoot any farther, though, as we had open sights and I can't really see much farther All this for me Fri May 21, Notice there is no photo. Girl's parents always liked me. I've never had any problems.

The nice guy role works very well for me. Thu May 11, 8: God only knows how over-protective I'm gonna be when I have a little girl. He needs not to worry. How many of those rules have you broken. Wed Jul 07, You said you do WHAT with rich republican girls?!?! I do you a favor, son, you have fifteen seconds to get out of range, so RUN!! I mean you Rules for dating my daughter agent orange can't date any daughters I might ever have She'd kick you narrow ass if you got out of line.

Girls that's claim to be Republican were no longer Republican when I was done with them. I am not interesting in hooking up with any A. Unless the are hot of course! She'd wear you out and leave you on the clothesline to dry out.

And thats from the housework shed make you do. To answer your question; 1. Just a simple hug. That's the dumbest fashion ever. Never talk sex with parents 5. I love talking politics! Never indicated return time. I broke this rule too 6. Ooops, I broke that rule too. No lady has ever made me wait. Broke that rule too 9. That don't scare me That guy sounds like a nut. So I guess I broke about 5 of the rules and three of them didn't apply.

So you guys have chandeliers and hand cuffs in your house? Thu May 20, 7: Chicks'll do that more than once. have two teenage daughters, and given the nature of our broken society, To keep my sanity, I have developed three simple rules for dating my daughters. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to. Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's Rules for dating my daughter agent orange for your boyfriend (or for The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I.

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